Greetings ladies, gentlemen, and those of you with nothing better to do!
Allow me to explain myself: Today is Day 1 of Bar Review. For the next 10-ish weeks, a team of lecturers are going to try to force three years of education into my brain. To be quite honest, I have no idea what the result will be, although as you may suspect from my title I rather anticipate a steady degradation into decrepitude. Regardless, it is my intent to chronicle here my thoughts as I proceed through the bar exam preparation process.
It's been some time since I took a non-law school test. As I recall, it is a universal character flaw in exam question writers to consider themselves witty and clever. For example, one question for today involved the greatest basketball player to every play the game, Jordan Michaels of the Chicago Cyclones. As it turns out, when those writers are lawyers their corrupted souls and twisted minds often produce disturbing results. Let me begin this blog by sharing with you some of the torts questions that I answered this morning (paraphrased, because I have a sneaking suspicion the exam prep people's lawyers would not appreciate my re-publishing their material):
#32) A private construction crew is using dynamite to blast a foundation for a ski resort into a mountain. The noise scares the animals on a nearby mink farm, causing many of the mink mothers to eat their young. Will the rancher win if he sues the construction company?
#44) Some jerk is talking about his "friend"who is a doctor behind his back. For which of the following statements will he be liable?
(a) Don't let your daughter date him; he rapes his girlfriends.
(b) Don't go to him for treatment; that quack doesn't know how to diagnose anything
(c) Don't let him visit your mother; he would have stabbed his own mother to death last week if she hadn't died in a car accident first
(d) Don't go to him for emergency treatment; he's a drunk and once couldn't treat a patient because he was too wasted.
#46) Governor Douchebag grabbed a pina colata and escaped to Venezuela to visit his mistress while his wife was out of town. When the mistress found out the Governor was married, she called to berate him. When she got his answering machine, she left an angry message in Spanish insinuating that the Governor had given her a venerial disease to upset the Governor's wife. The Governor listened to his messages on speakerphone with his wife present. When his wife asked what the mistress had said, the Governor lied, "Happy Birthday." If Governor Douchebag sues his mistress for defamation of character, will he succeed?
#48) With her family away, a married woman with several children went to a local hotel to rendezvous with her illicit lover. While the adulterers were in the throes of passion, a fire was started and burned the hotel to the ground. The lovers escaped the flames in their bathrobes, and we unknowingly photographed by a newspaper photographer. The photo was published on the front page of the next day's paper, leading the woman's husband to file for divorce and to the woman's general shame and humiliation. If she sues the newspaper for publishing the picture without her permission, will she win?
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